Faelan's Recipe for Vanilla Beans

(Edited down, adult questions omitted.)

You need baking soda, peppermint oil, chili powder, and sticks. Tree sticks, from the yard. You stir them together. Oh, but first you need to chop the sticks with a very, very sharp knife. Grind them in the spice grinder. I will do the grinding. Put the peppermint in the batter. Put the chili powder in the batter. What else was in this? Put the soda in the batter. Then the beans will all be ready. Then, how do you make vanilla oil?

Discussion in front of a Christmas Tree at Work

F: Guess what kind of ornament is my favorite?

A: What kind?

F: Fake candy!

A: Oh, the glass balls? I see.

F, with great emphasis: I love stars.

A: You like them, huh?

F: One day, for a special occasion, my friends and I went in a spaceship. We went up, up, up, and landed in the sky! And then we touched a star!

A: Whoa. What did it feel like to touch a star?

F: It almost burned our hands! But we didn't get burned. And do you know which one got to take it home?

A: Who?

F, wide-eyed: Me.

Caution and advice

If you ever go near a bear, kill it so you can eat its meat and use its fur. And use its fat for cooking.